When Did YOU Become the Judge?

There are days when I think "Yeah, I'm a good mom." You know, the days that are beautiful, my house is spotless, dinner is prepared by 10 am, and all the laundry and ironing are caught up on. Then all I have to do is have a picnic, throw a football or play dress up. And those days come about twice a year.

This weekend as we are approaching Mother's Day I find myself wondering how good of a mom I am. And it begs the question of when did YOU become the judge. YOU being a fictional character of whomever happens to be questioning your motives at the time, of course. 

You know... Like the Time Magazine which screams "Are You Mom Enough?" Really?! I have to breastfeed my kid until they are 4 to be "Mom Enough"? 

We put so much pressure on ourselves as moms. From the moment I peed on that stick almost 10 years ago the slaughter of "right" and "wrong" questions began.

Deli meat or no Deli meat?
Sleeping on your back or side?
Breastfeeding or Bottle?
Immunizations or Not?
Private or Public School?
Preschool at 4 or 5?
The list goes on and on. Everyone has a "theory". Everyone has their opinion. But its just that. An opinion. The more moms I meet the more I realize that most moms want the best for their kiddos. Sure. There are some moms out there that just don't care but for the most part, a mom is a mom. Questioning every decision they make, worrying about every cough or runny nose, stressing over whether their kids will turn out well. 

We should be encouraging one another. Building each other up. Offering a helping hand when we see another mom struggling. 

Instead we spend our days backbiting, questioning each others motives and very rarely offering a strong support systems for each other.

This Mother's Day I have decided to be not only a good mom, but a great one. Not because I change anything I do, but because I believe I am. No matter what anyone says.

5 comments:

  1. Well spoken, Casey. And Happy Mother's Day to you!

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  2. I'm not a mama but I do love this post! :) Happy Mother's Day!

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  3. It is so appropriate that you wrote this post today because last week my hubby and I had a "disagreement" if you will. My mom and I just launched our Etsy business and it has taken a LOT of work and a LOT of time that I don't have to get it all set up. So as any mom knows, when you add something new to your plate and haven't had a chance to get into a routine, things can fall apart. Well my house fell apart. And I was already beating myself up about not having dinner ready every night that week or having my house clean. But then the hubs made a comment that was a "reminder" (as he says) that my first priority should be taking care of the kids and KEEPING UP THE HOUSE! Oh no he didn't. I know he wasn't trying to be mean or hurtful, but it just goes to show that people (including other moms) have this terrible problem of judging and criticizing when someone doesn't act a certain way or maintain this image of perfection. I too would LOVE a perfectly clean home, warm meal every night, happy children, happy husband and still have some time for me. But like you said...that happens about 2 days a year. Ha!! So like you, I have decided to stop beating myself up and letting others beat me up with opinions. I am who I am and no matter how clean my house is or if my children eat non-organic sometimes...I am still a good momma and will continue to aspire to be a great momma. Thanks for this post...I totally needed it :-)

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  4. My main thing as a mom is am I doing what the Lord wants me to do? Am I raising my child to love Him? I think as long as we are doing that, everything else will fall into place!

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