Surprise! I'm having body issues. We've all been there, haven't we mama's? Ok. Just tell me you have to make me feel better. My inner self looks something like this. Its just my outer self that is having the issues. :-)
We spend 9 months compromising our bodies to create the most amazing and complex little beings. We've eaten crazy things like pickles and extra sharp cheddar cheese, stuffed our face with chocolate and probably had our share of ice cream. Now nine months later, you have a gorgeous baby, that you wouldn't trade for the world or a Victoria's Secret model body as well as a tummy full of jello, some extra cellulite on the back of your legs and boobs that would put Dolly Parton to shame. Ok, well the boob part is not all that bad!
When I first got pregnant, I had just finished my first half marathon. I was in the best shape I have ever been in and actually loved my legs. Not to mention the fact that I LOVE healthy food. Most of the time I would pick a salad over any meal, any day. I ran my last 5K at 10 weeks and then started getting sick. It didn't really last all that long but somewhere between the other 3 kids and just the general lack of energy, I stopped running - or exercising in general. Since this was the first pregnancy that I hadn't been sick for 9 solid months, I ate anything I wanted and 33 lbs later, realized all that would have to come off. On top of that, I now realize how much slower 31's metabolism is than 21's metabolism.
I told myself I would start running immediately after getting approval from the doctor. She said just listen to my body and do whatever feels comfortable. That night I hit the gym raring to go. I had 3 miles in 30 minutes on my to-do list. Headphones in and playlist blaring I started off. Half a mile in I thought I was dying - seriously dying. My insides jiggled, my head was pounding and my legs felt like lead.
That brings me to today. 2 weeks later. I'm re-evaluating my priorities. To be healthy again. To quit looking at the scale so much and to re-train myself to eating a little less sweets and a little more veggies. To have realistic goals in getting these last 13 pounds off and to ACTUALLY listen to my body in getting fit. I started lifting some light weights and last night I actually finished those 3 miles - It just took 2 extra weeks to get there.
So, I'm giving myself space. Space to not look like a super model by summer... lol. Space to get healthy and not just fit. And space to appreciate that my body has paid the price of 4 beautiful children. And I wouldn't have it any other way.