Having "The Talk" with Your Kids

"The Talk" : I don't know if its every parents worst fear or just mine. The thought of having to have this discussion just makes my nerves go into a tizzy. I've always thought that since I had boys first my turn to have "the talk" would be later on down the road. But the closer I get to the matter the more I realize how important it is for both parents to be on the same page.

I have found myself lately noticing just how sexually charged our society is. I think I always knew it but I'm just aware of it more now that my son is noticing things more. Last week I had to hide my Shape magazine when the cover had the headline, "Have Better Sex Tonight!" A magazine that comes in the mail monthly. The same mail that my kids get on a daily basis. Well, that's not a conversation I want started over dinner... Or the commercials that seem to be getting earlier and earlier at night or on the weekends during sports games that show scenes from shows I would never allow my young children to watch. I don't want my kiddos to be naive but at the same time I feel like we've lost innocence. Like nothing is sacred.

And I'm not sure if it worries my heart more that it is becoming more and more open in the mainstream media or that it's become less and less talked about at home, in the "right" context, with healthy views. 

I read this story last week and it broke my heart. It broke my heart for the little girl, for her future and for her innocence. It broke my heart for the 11 year old father who will probably never have to raise that child but will always have to live with the fact that he grew up too fast. That he was obviously exposed to too much and protected too little. I was still playing with dolls at 11. Sometimes I think children are taught too much. And then it breaks my heart that under-taught children are more prone to be victims. What has happened to our children just being able to be children? It being ok to be naive? 

Jayden will be 10 in June. Everyone told us that 8 was the "typical" age of this conversation but since he is home schooled and a little more sheltered we decided to hold off a while. But lately there have been some comments that made us think just some basic anatomy may need to be discussed.

Like the time that Jayden explained childbirth to Evan. And then just last week, he informed Jarrod that he wouldn't have hair on his chest because "Mom, gave birth to me and she's not hairy..." Yeah, I think he at least should know that his Dad played a very quick and small part. Haha. Just kidding. 

So, I've been doing some research. I've found "Where Do Babies Come From: Boys Edition" and "Before I was Born" for him or us to read together. Maybe Jarrod and I should take him out to dinner, or maybe it should just be a Dad thing? 

Whatever route or however naive, I just want him to be 9. A 9 year old who plays in the dirt, throws balls and rides bikes. A 9 year old who grows up slow and protected. I just want to keep his sweet innocence. 






The Life Of Faith

5 comments:

  1. Oh, I'm not looking forward to that talk! I know we're going to have to all too soon, but you're right, I just want Dylan to be a kid for a few more years!!!

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  2. The "talk" freaks me out too!! I have a ways to go but it gives me anxiety just thinking about it with our girls. You have to let us know how it goes! :)

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  3. We homeschool as well and have 3 girls that are almost 10, 8, and 3. We have had the talk with the older 2 already. Well their Daddy did most all the talking, but I'm so glad they know, and know how to be aware of their surroundings at all times and what is "appropriate" and what's not! Good luck!

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  4. We started having talks about sex when M was 5, and then when V. turned 5. As you described, there are MULTITUDES of opportunities to talk about our values. We probably have sex discussions 3-4 times a week. Always after Hardee's commercials come on, when you almost see some girl's butt in too short shorts, or why we choose the clothes we buy. Having constant talks makes it as easy and normal as talking about PB&J sandwiches. And it fits right in with our Bible Studies because the Bible has so much to say about sex. I hope it goes smoothly when you choose the time. I'll be praying for you!

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  5. I appreciate this post! McKayla will be 11 in July and while I have had the "girl" talk with her, we haven't had the whole birds and the bees talk. There is a book that I keep looking at in the Christian bookstore that I keep looking at. I'll have to get it and let you know what I thought about it! I want McKayla to feel like she can talk to me about sex. I want her to know that it's beautiful when you are married, but before that has lots of consequences. I want to tell her WHY it's special to hold onto her virginity, not just "don't do it". Hmm... now I might have to go and buy it tomorrow!!

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