Keeping It Interesting {Love and Marriage Blog Series}

Today I have to admit that I'm preaching to the choir. That I don't always do my best to keep my marriage interesting, fresh, alive. That yes, my kids, out of demand, come before my husband a lot of the time. I mean, don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't want to keep my marriage interesting. I would love to have a live in nanny to keep my kids for unlimited date nights, a personal chef to prepare a candlelight dinner, and a maid so that cleaning and laundry never get in the way of romance, but the reality is that most of us don't have this option. And keeping marriage interesting takes a little more effort. 

It's not that I want it that way. It's just that I'm drained. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I've been touched all. day. long. Nursing, rocking, cuddling tears away. I get to the point that my personal space is way overly invaded some days. Don't get me wrong here. I love every minute of snuggling and rocking. Holding and loving my babies. But we have to prioritize that. To make sure we have something left for our husbands. 

Finding what works for every marriage is different. Sometimes, it's seeing your husband take a load off and help around the house so that you can get a mental break from the day to day. Sometimes, it's getting away, dinner and a movie or even just a bubble bath with no noise. I have to make that separation. That separation from Mom to Wife. And it's a very important one. 

I remind myself on a regular basis that one day it will just be me and him. The two of us. An empty house. Lots of time to talk and spend time together. I want to know the man I am married to when that time comes. I want to nourish the fact that I, first and foremost, married my best friend. That one of the things that brought us together was the fact that we liked each other. We liked conversation, we like doing stuff together. I don't want to wake up one morning and question who I'm sleeping next to. I feel like this is where a lot of marriages get off track. Sports, dance, errands, schedules, it all gets to be soooo much. In the midst of that it is so important to remember that there is a relationship beyond your children. 

For us, we try and schedule one night a week that we either go out or put the kids to bed and just be us. No phones, no computers, just us. The reality is that this doesn't happen every week. But we definitely try. And there are times that it happens more than others. Like right now, going out isn't much of an option when you have a newborn who needs mama every 3 hours to eat. So just making the effort is a great start. Get a movie and snuggle on the couch. Take a bubble bath. Or sit on the front porch and enjoy a beautiful spring sunset together.

For me, some of the greatest times I've had with my husband has been little overnight trips. Last year, we were blessed to have 5 whole days together. This is something I HIGHLY recommend. It is such a wonderful feeling to be able to wake up and have NO ONE to cook breakfast for. To be able to spend the whole morning just the two of you. For us, these are rare, usually once a year or less. And they are not easy to pull off. But we always come home saying we once again realize how in love we are with one another. Even if it's just one night away. That past the daily grind, we still find the joy in just being together. 

And always remember that a healthy marriage is the best gift you can give your children. Your kids seeing you live out a healthy relationship sets the groundwork for their relationships. I used to see my parents fuss, fight, kiss and make up. But I NEVER questioned their love for each other. And that made me secure as a child. That no matter what, at the end of the day, I have a Mom and Dad to come home to. To find security in. Now, as a wife I understand that all these ups and downs are a normal part of marriage. That walking out when things get rough isn't the answer to the problem. And I know that when my marriage is healthy my kids feel the security of that, because I did. 

Take the time to nourish what came first in your family. The relationship that, if allowed to die, makes or breaks you as a family. Most of the time just a little effort is all it takes to keep the sparks alive. 


If you missed the last two weeks you can get caught up here:

Week 2: When the Going Gets Rough
Week 1: How We Met

This series is brought to you by:

8 comments:

  1. I really liked your point about having a strong relationship for your children. This is so very important for your children to feel safe at home and then go on to have their own healthy relationships.
    My husband and I are blessed to come from families whose parents were happily married. His have been married for over 30 years and mine were married for 31 before my father passed away in 2003. I just remember my mom saying that 31 years wasn't enough time with him.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am thoroughly enjoying this series and your posts! This post was EXCELLENT and it is so true. Andy Stanley (who I hear a lot about since he's my husband's FAVORITE) says that he and his wife get away together every year for a week and how important that is to their marriage. It is so true that we get caught up in the daily "stuff" that we don't take the time to nurture our relationships with our spouses. Thanks for this! And GREAT picture of y'all! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I really loved your post, because it is so important to show an example of a strong marriage to your children.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Great post! Cute picture of you and your husband and I love your dress.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Girl, I totally feel you on being (what I call) "touched out". I hate it because I'm already not affectionate by nature, and then Drew comes home and the last thing I want to do is hug and cuddle. Thanks for linking up!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I completely agree that time away does wonders. Sometimes it's easy to forget what life is like without kids. It's nice to have a chance to reconnect.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I know so much about you and your relationship with Jarrod and I still love reading these! I have such great examples of love in y'all!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Great post! I am new to your blog and loving it! :)

    ReplyDelete