I have so enjoyed writing during this blog series. Thanks to all the awesome girls, Jenna, Mandy, Shay, Jenn, Lindsey and Megan, who put this together!
Today, being the last day of the Love and Marriage Series, I thought I would touch on a couple of things that I haven't talked about yet. Expectations and Vision.
Expectations: We all have them to one extent or the other. I expect my husband to help out around the house every now and then, take out the trash and assist in the bedtime routine. The problem with expectations is when they don't get met. It is very hard not to take this personally. And in our marriage, is one of the main fight starters.
Marriage and family takes a lot of work. From both sides as a husband and wife and as a father and mother. We have to remember that each other is human. As much as I
know believe I am Super Woman, the reality is, I'm not. And there are days that I need some extra help. The perfect scenario is that Jarrod pitches in and helps on his own - and that happens a lot. It's when the dishes are piled in the sink, dinner is half done, the laundry is piled 10 feet high on the couch and needs to be folded and the baby is screaming his head off, and Jarrod is sitting on the couch leisurely scrolling through Facebook, that I tend to lose it.
We as women have to remember that men don't think like us, don't multi-task like us and don't generally even hear the same sounds as us or see the same mess as us. That doesn't mean that they shouldn't try. It just means that sometimes a little nudge is needed and the way we, as wives, give that nudge is generally how he will react. Communication goes a long way. And sometimes it's critical to humble yourself and just talk about why your frustrated instead of starting a fight because he hasn't read your mind.
Vision: I think vision is a key element to keeping a marriage strong. Short term or long term, we all need to have goals to reach together. Some of our long term visions are raising Godly children, the vision of "till death do we part", and the vision of being that old married couple that still holds hands while eating breakfast at Waffle House. And while vision is good, it is not enough to just have. We have to keep striving, keep walking, keeping working towards those goals.
Whether it's speaking each others love language, praying together, morning coffee, night time devotionals, dates, or weekends away, whatever works for you. Share the vision. Share your goals and dreams and work on them together. Be supportive and encouraging when times are hard. When we are working together to accomplish each others dreams, we are investing in each others lives. It's like a safety net that is continuously woven throughout our marriage. And eventually, it's like thinking of walking away from a billion dollar investment because "it's just too much work."
I love the scripture verse in Matthew 6:21, For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. This can be applied in so many areas of our life. We love what we invest in. Your marriage is worth investing in. When we do this, we are also investing in our kids, investing in our futures, and investing in the image that God gives us as his love for us. It's seeing past the "flaws", and reaching towards a higher goal. It's being a cheerleader when one of you is unsure. It's knowing that you're there for each other to pray, encourage, help, and love no matter how hard it gets. It's making your marriage work. And as I've said for the last 4 weeks, it's totally worth it!
If you haven't had the chance to read the rest of this series here ya go!
Week 2: When the Going Gets Rough
Week 1: How We Met